Things I Will Do When I Have a TON of Money

Get someone else to clean the frickin’ kitchen.
Convert the Saturn to biodiesel.
Offer Michael Jackson half the dough to come back with a sequel to "Thriller".  A good one, though.
Go to France.  Stay.  For a while.
Eat my way around the Mediterranean, cruising on a boat.  Someone else is driving.
Employ a full-time grape peeler.
Put some carpets down, cause man is it noisy in here. 
Provide the family with an inexhaustible supply of underwear and socks. 
Make my sweetie into a kept man.
Contract my blogging responsibilities.  To someone else.

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